Battling Gossip With Grace

Words hurt. Everyone has been damaged by something said to them or about them. I remember my freshman year of high school when my best friend at the time heard from someone else that I was involved in some bad stuff. When she told me this, I couldn't help but laugh because it was so far from the truth. Yet, my best friend of the last 4 years decided to kick me to the curb over a piece of gossip she had heard from someone who didn't even know me. Gossip hurts, but we are really good at it. As humans, we are all too good at recognizing and calling out the faults in other people while missing a poignant flaw in ourselves exhibited at that very moment we do so.

The root word of gossip comes from the Greek word "diabolos". The same word used to describe Satan 35 times in the Bible is also used to describe gossip or slander. So ultimately, to gossip is to be like Satan. If that's the case, why is there so much of it especially in the church?

By gossiping, we are claiming that I am strong because you are weak. However, the Gospel claims that I am weak, yet my God is strong. So, whether we are gossiping intentionally or unintentionally, any kind of gossip causes division. Ultimately, there is no upside to it. The act of gossiping hurts 3 kinds of people: the one speaking the gossip, the one getting gossiped about, and the one listening to it. Gossip hurts everybody. There is no winner when we gossip. Yes, I said "we". Why? Because the church is the worst at this. We claim we are praying for them, but we often just use that phrase to hide the true malice of our hearts. It's like when people say, "no offense" before saying something hurtful, or if you live in the South, it's similar to the saying "Bless their heart". The reality is you can't pray for them and gossip about them. Choose one.

What is gossip, and what does it do? Gossip ultimately attacks the image of God in another person. The Hebrew word translated to mean "gossip" in the Bible is defined as someone who reveals secrets. A gossiper is someone who has been trusted with information about someone and reveals that information to those who have no business knowing it. Gossip can be identified and distinguished from simply making information known. We tell the difference by looking at someone's intent behind sharing it and the type of information being shared. When people gossip, they often are trying to tear down others to build themselves up. They do this by picking at the faults and failings of others. What is the problem with this? The reality is, that we all possess faults. We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. You and I both need Jesus just as much as the next person. When it comes to sin, God sees it all the same. There is no sin in God's eyes that is worse than others. Every single sin is just as hurtful to God as the next. Gossip in itself, is a sin. In the amount of time we spend gossiping about someone, we could be praying for them.

When we gossip, the motivation of our hearts is to bring disaster upon another person. However, the Bible tells us that when we gossip, we will only bring disaster upon ourselves. Take the words of King David and his kingdom in Psalm 101: 5, "Whoever slanders their neighbor in secret, I will put to silence; whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart, I will not tolerate." David says this because good kings always protect their house and their kingdoms. You see, David had seen what a bad king looked like based on the surrounding kingdoms. More than that, he had suffered severe pain when his own son, Absalom, tried to murder him and take his throne. David knew division, he knew deceit, and he knew pain. When David says this, he means that you are not allowed by God's authority to advance yourself by ruining others. Verse 7 of this chapter continues on to read, "I will not allow deceivers to serve in my house, and liars will not stay in my presence." David knew that good kings protect their houses from secret conversations. We are to protect our hearts and our homes, as well, by halting our tongues and stopping the gossip around us.

Gossip spreads the faults of others. Gossip ruins reputations. Perhaps more importantly, gossip reveals a lack of self-control in our hearts and minds. Ephesians 4:29 says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." So how do you stop gossip? Think before you speak. Would you want this to be said about you? Does this conversation benefit anyone? When people are gossiping around you, either cut the conversation off or try saying something good about the person being gossiped about. Our words are powerful. They have the power to serve as evidence of the Holy Spirit's work in our hearts. The words of a gossip are boastful, scoffing, unjust, slanderous, unclean, cruel, flattering, angry, and discontent while the Bible calls us to use words that are loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled.

The act of gossip is deceiving, but the feeling of doing it is, as well. You see, we often feel really good when we are gossiping. However, later, we end up feeling horrible and usually regret whatever we say because of the Holy Spirit’s work in us. Gossip feels good at first, and I think we've all felt that. Yet, gossip pollutes our hearts. You can free yourself from gossip by simply admitting you are a gossiper. Stop it right there and catch yourself in the middle of it. Sometimes, we pride ourselves in fostering a "safe" place for gossip, but there is no place where gossip can ever be safe. The Bible tells us that gossip creates rivalry and separated friends (Proverbs 16:28), it is an act of betrayal (Proverbs 11:13), and we will be judged for the careless words we say against others (Matthew 12:37).

We are in a world that is so overwhelmed with darkness. The fact of the matter is, we don't have time to have anything other than the Word of God on our lips. We need to have a sense of urgency to share the gospel with the world. We are living in times where prophecies regarding the end times are being fulfilled every day, yet we want to waste our words by talking about what Tiffany did last weekend. There is an unreached world out there desperate for Christ. Our words need to be intentional and that which glorifies God.

Here's my goal for you this week: devote your tongue to preaching the gospel instead of participating in gossip. When you feel tempted to gossip about the shortcomings of others, take a moment to reflect on the mercy of Christ toward you when you were in need of forgiveness and grace. Famous American writer, Ellen White, put it best, "the very act of looking for evil in others develops evil in those who look." So, pray for those you are tempted to gossip about. When we talk to God about people, we can't help but love them like He does.

May your roots run deep, and your faith remain strong! As always, Stay Rooted, my friends! <3