Called, but Questioning: The Impostor Within

As many of you know, I am a worship leader. I’m on a stage almost every week, singing and helping lead a congregation in worship. But I'll be honest—as hard as I try to come before the Lord clean and lead from a place of purity, there have been weeks when I’ve stepped onto that platform with insecurity and shame in my heart. There have been weeks when I sang about God’s goodness but felt like a hypocrite. I constantly felt like I wasn’t measuring up. Yet the standards I wasn’t meeting weren't the Lord's - they were my own.

Truth be told, I didn’t feel qualified to sing the words I was leading. Not because I hadn’t practiced or prayed, but because deep down, I was doubting myself. I questioned my voice, my ability—even my calling. I was standing on a stage, guitar in hand, telling people that God was faithful, while quietly wondering if I really belonged up there. I wasn’t doubting who He is—I was doubting whether someone like me—messy, unsure, and worn down—had any business leading worship at all.

But here’s what I’ve been reminded of over and over again in the middle of that self-doubt: God doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called. I found comfort in knowing, “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). The feeling of inadequacy didn’t disqualify me; it actually made space for God to show up in ways I couldn’t. In my insecurity, He reminded me that worship isn’t about perfection—it’s about surrender. He doesn’t need flawless leaders, just faithful ones.

We all have things we struggle with on a day-to-day basis—things we silently carry into the classroom, the business meeting, the dinner table, the office, and even the stage. A lot of these struggles and insecurities come from the lies we tell ourselves. Lies like, "I'm not good enough," "My struggles disqualify me from leading," "If I'm not perfect, I shouldn't be in ministry," or "God only uses those who have it all together." Oftentimes, this kind of mindset is what we call impostor syndrome. It's the gnawing feeling that you’re just pretending—that if people saw your inner wrestlings, your weak moments, your doubts about your own calling, they’d walk away. I’ve sat in green rooms and cried before services. I’ve walked off stage wondering if I manufactured a moment or if it was truly Spirit-led. And it wasn’t because I didn’t believe in God—it was because I didn’t believe He could use someone as inconsistent, as emotional, or as unsure as me.

Perhaps you've felt all of this, too. If you have, I’m not here to say I’ve got it all figured out, but I can share what I’ve learned while trying to grow in this area. First, praise God for the truth that feelings don't have the final word; God does! The way we feel is not evidence that we’re disqualified or insincere—they’re simply evidence that we’re human.

There’s a reason Satan is called the accuser (Revelation 12:10). He loves to feed us lies or half-truths that cause us to doubt not only ourselves, but God’s ability to work through us. The enemy’s main goal is to confuse our calling with our capability and our weakness with our worthlessness. But Jesus has never called us based on our performance. He simply calls us by name (Isaiah 43:1). So when the enemy feeds you lies, don’t let them become your identity. Name them. Expose them. And instead, feed yourself the truth of who you are in Christ. We were never meant to walk in our own strength anyway.

A truth I often find comfort in is this: God has never required perfection; He has always looked for willingness. When I feel like I’m not enough, I remember that I’m not the first person to feel that way. In fact, I’m in pretty good company. The Bible is full of leaders, prophets, and worshipers who doubted themselves, too. Moses thought he couldn’t speak well enough for Pharaoh. David had moral failures. Peter denied Jesus, even after walking on water with the Messiah. Paul persecuted Christians for years. Yet God called every single one of them anyway. He didn’t wait for them to “get their act together” before using them. He met them in their mess and filled in the gaps with His sufficiency. The brokenness that was once a barrier, He used as a bridge to meet His grace.

So when I stand on stage and feel like I’m not “talented enough” or “qualified enough” to lead others, I have to remind myself that God isn’t looking for performers—He’s looking for surrendered hearts. And what I’ve come to notice is that sometimes the ones who feel the weakest are the ones most aware of how much they need the Lord. And in that recognition of need is where strength begins."My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9

While God delights in using imperfect people, that doesn’t mean we should grow complacent in our walk with Him. Grace is never meant to make us passive in our pursuit of God. God’s grace should move us to pursue Him more—to pursue holiness, honesty, excellence, and intimacy with Him. Just because we struggle with insecurity or feel inadequate doesn’t mean we stop striving to come before the Lord with clean hands and a pure heart.

And let me stress: we don’t do this to earn God’s love or approval. We do it because we already have it. It’s a response to His love, not a requirement for acceptance. Being honest with mentors or your team is part of that pursuit. Vulnerability isn’t weakness—it’s strength. Sharing your doubts and struggles invites support, accountability, and encouragement. You don’t have to carry the weight alone.

When my husband and I were in pre-marital counseling, we were asked to come up with a sort of life-saying—something we could return to when life got complicated, when emotions ran high, or when confusion crept in. It was meant to become an anchor for us as a couple, and eventually, something we could pass on to our children. After prayer and conversation, we landed on four simple words that have shaped everything since: “Faith is our foundation.” It’s more than a cute phrase—it’s a call to live rooted. It’s a daily decision to build our lives not on what we feel, or fear, or think we lack, but on what we know to be true about God. Because when faith is our foundation, the lies of the enemy have no power. When we’re rooted in God’s Word and presence, the winds of doubt may blow, but they cannot uproot us (Matthew 7:24–25). And the roots you’re growing now are preparing you to stand firm later.

So truthfully, it’s not about having it all together. It’s about knowing where to turn when you don’t. It’s about staying close to Jesus in every season, even the ones filled with insecurity and silence. It’s about worshiping through the questions, bringing your whole heart before Christ, and remembering that your identity is not in what you do, but in who God says you are. If you’ve ever felt like an impostor, you’re not alone. But maybe the very place where you feel disqualified is the exact place God wants to display His glory, not because you’re flawless, but because you’re faithful.

May your roots run deep, and your faith remain strong! As always, Stay Rooted, my friends! <3