Unmasking Love: Distinguishing Real from Fake

My fiancé and I met at a Christian camp where he played drums, and I sang. On one of our first nights there, we sat in a cabin and just asked each other questions to get to know one another. Some were silly and some were serious. Yet, we both asked questions in such a way that we could gauge how seriously the other took their relationship with God. Both of us had experienced enough hurt and heartache to know that if God wasn't at the center of the other's lives, then we didn't want it. There is something so different about a relationship when God is at the center of it. It wasn't enough for us to just ask each other, "Do you believe in God?" and check that box. We sought to find out if the other had a deep, intimate RELATIONSHIP with God. Perhaps the thing that sparked our relationship was the foundation of Jesus Christ at the center of our lives. 

Many people wait until further on in a dating relationship to ask the question, "What is your relationship with Jesus?" because it can be awkward. They wait until they've established their own connection and their own spark to see if Jesus can fit in somewhere on the side. The problem with that is people often find themselves too deep into relationships before they ever bring up Jesus. As a result, Jesus is nowhere to be seen in his or her life. We tell ourselves, "Maybe they can come to Jesus because of me." But ladies, let me tell you this: You are called to be a wife, not a babysitter, and men, you are called to be a husband and a leader, not a settler. 

I've seen so many people not understand what real love from God is. As a result, they end up chasing the fake kind of love. Every time the enemy puts "fake love" in front of you, his goal is to steal your heart from God. If your heart is chasing after "fake love", lust, and lies, it will stop chasing God. The two can't go together. Take the story of King Solomon in 1 Kings 11. Solomon sought after many women because he found them beautiful, but these women were from nations that the Lord commanded the Israelites not to marry. The Lord warned Solomon that these women would turn his hearts to other gods if he married them. Solomon ends up marrying 700 different women from the nations God told him not to. As a result, Solomon's heart grew far from the Lord and broke the commandments in which God had set forth. 

Solomon knew the truth. He knew exactly what God said about these women and what would happen if he were to marry them. Yet, just like many of us today, Solomon didn't want to listen to God about the relationship HE wanted to pursue. In 1 Kings verse 1-2, it says "Now king Solomon [defiantly] loved many foreign women along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women,  from the very nations of whom the Lord said to the Israelites, 'You shall not associate with them, nor shall they associate with you, for the result will be that they will turn away your hearts to follow their gods.'" God was saying, "Look if you want to pursue a relationship with those women, you will leave your relationship with me." If you pursue that lust, you will give into it, and you will rebel against every promise I have spoken over your life. God's warning was to let go of it before it destroys you. . If you don't listen to the word of God, you will walk away from His promises and His protection. We end up will no boundaries and let anybody who has a nice face or tells us what we want to hear into our hearts. As a result, we enter into a relationship built on worldly ideas and sinful habits. The deeper into this relationship we get, the more we give into the idea that we can't be free from it. Yet, I have good news for you today. The Lord can set you free.

Whatever addiction, whatever perversion, the things that you know aren't right...God can set you free today and show you what real love is. The Bible makes it very clear what love is not. Romans 1: 24-27 says, "Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their own hearts to [sexual] impurity so that their bodies would be dishonored among them [abandoning them to the degrading power of sin], because [by choice] they exchanged the truth of God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen." The world will tell you to follow your heart, and we can be so easily deceived by this "fake love". So often we trade the truth of God for a lie. We make up this God in our head that is tolerant of sin and all-affirming. We start serving this version of God that changes with the times and doesn't tell us what to do but blesses us all the same. Friends, that god doesn't exist. That version is a fake god with fake love.

Over Spring break, I was at the thrift store with my mom, and I happened to walk past a bucket full of stuff. In that bucket, I noticed a very nice-looking bag, so I picked it up. I looked on the inside and read the name "Louis Vuitton". Then, I looked at the price tag, and it was $15. I had no idea at that moment if the bag was authentic or not. So, I immediately got on Google, trying to find out if the bag was real. I didn't know name brands well enough to distinguish a fake bag from a real one. After spending a long time searching the web and inspecting the bag for the key characteristics of a Louis Vuitton bag, I concluded it was authentic. I found the exact bag that was in my hands for over $2000 on Louis Vuitton's website. The person who gave away that bag clearly didn't know what it was worth. God's love is similar. If we don't know Him and what it looks like, we will never be able to identify the real vs. the fake. We may end up in a relationship thinking it is love only to realize it is lust. Or perhaps we end up walking away from someone who was the real deal. 

When we are pursuing relationships, it is so important to find a partner that will go to war with you rather than at you. The only way this happens is if the relationship is built firmly on Christ. In the same way Christ did for us, we need a spouse who will fight against the enemy and the deception and lies that he feeds us. A spouse that is cheering you on and interceding on your behalf even when you're not around. I've heard so many of my friends say that they don't believe that they can find someone like that in the culture today, but I'm living proof that you can. My fiancé told me that he truly believed he would never get married because the only people he had dated in the past presented that "fake love". Yet, before we ever knew each other, we trusted in God and surrendered that desire of our hearts to the Lord. We had to take a step back from pursuing relationships on our own and focus on pursuing God. We had to come to know God’s real love to recognize it in someone else. Only after we had done that, did God bless us and bring us into each other’s lives. The Lord is a good father, and He knows the desires of your heart. So, keep following Him. Stop listening to the lies around you and giving in to all the fakes. In order to have a healthy, Christ-rooted relationship you have to first believe it exists. If you don't, you will never look for it in your life and you will never believe it can happen for you.

In a world where the pursuit of love often leads to heartache and confusion, finding a relationship anchored in faith can be a beacon of hope. My journey with my fiancé began with a simple exchange of questions, each probing the depth of our relationship with God. We understood that without Him at the center, our love would lack the true foundation it needed to withstand life's challenges. The story of King Solomon serves as a cautionary tale, reminding us of the dangers of chasing after worldly desires at the expense of our relationship with God. Just as I discovered the authenticity of a designer bag amidst a sea of imitations, we must learn to discern genuine love from the counterfeit versions offered by the world. True love, rooted in Christ, empowers us to face battles together, knowing that God's presence strengthens and sustains us. As we navigate the complexities of relationships, let us not be swayed by the allure of fake love but instead seek the enduring truth found in God's unwavering love for us. Let us trust in His guidance, even when it leads us away from the familiar paths of comfort, for His ultimate desire is not our temporary happiness but the transformation of our hearts and character.

May your roots run deep, and your faith remain strong! As always, Stay Rooted, my friends! <3