Unraveling the Web of Control

I remember scrolling through social media one evening. I came across this video of a man trying to kill a spider in his house. I was tempted to scroll because I really don't like spiders. Yet, something kept me on the video...I grew to regret that decision. I watched as the man prepared to hit the spider with a broom. Then... SMACK! Peeking through my hands over my eyes, I watched as what was once one spider turned into probably a hundred little spiders. Horrified, I scrolled past the video as fast as I could. I guess the spider had a sack of baby spiders on it, just waiting to hatch. Gross!

Thinking back to this video, it reminded me that sometimes in our attempts to control our lives, we often end up making them worse. The man believed he was bettering the situation by taking care of business, yet it couldn't have ended worse.

In class this week, I was asked what habit I struggled with in my spiritual life. To which my answer was, "I have a habit of praying for God to move but planning like He won't." I think this is a prevalent issue in today's world. Especially in a culture that highly values preparation and organization. These are both very valuable skills, but often they develop into a need for control. We plan our lives away as a means to seize control in this crazy world, and in doing so, fail to live according to how the Lord calls us.

Our flesh always wants us to be in control. Even Jesus battled against this before He went to the cross. In Matthew 26, we read that Jesus went to the garden to pray. All throughout the Gospels, we see Jesus saying that He and the Father are one. Yet even then, the amount of flesh He had was warring against Him in desperate search of another way than that that God had predestined. His flesh told Him He had to gain control somehow, but in His perfection, Jesus surrendered control. He says in verse 42, "My Father if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done." Jesus was showing us that no matter how close you are to Him, you will face many moments where you will have to choose if you will release control to Him. Jesus said in Matthew 10:39, "If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it."

Following this prayer from Jesus in the garden, we read about the guards coming to arrest Him. At that moment, Peter was quick to jump in and try to control the situation. In doing so, he cut off the ear of one of the guards. The Son of God could've just as easily called in an army of angels to His defense, but He gave up control because He knew God's plan was better than His own. Sometimes we are like Peter, so quick to act and seize control. The hard truth is that God's timeline is rarely ever our timeline. He has incredible works set out for us already that we can't even begin to imagine. We have the choice to surrender to God's plan instead of choosing our own. Will you trust His superiority over your inferiority?

Whoever trusts the least, wants to control the most. Meaning, if we don't trust God, we will become our own god to control the situation. We do the same in relationships with others. If we don't trust our spouses, we will try to control them. If a woman doesn't trust a man, she will try to control his whereabouts, his spending habits, his social life, etc. In turn, this ruins the dynamic of relationships God desires for men and women. Why? Because a woman will never submit to a man she doesn't trust. She can never take on that role that God designed for her. When I started dating my current partner, I was still learning what a loving relationship was supposed to be. Because I had trust issues from previous hurt, I struggled with wanting to be in control and play the role that was his. I hadn't yet learned to trust him, so I wanted to control him. I'm blessed to be in a relationship that has allowed me to release my desire for control because of the endless love and trust he has shown. If this is a habit in our earthly relationships, imagine how much we do that with God.

In addition, being in control often kills your ability for correction. When we are in control, we tend to view any sort of critique as a threat. We think that those who are correcting us are trying to take our control from us. For example, when I was younger, I loved to live in my comfort zone because I could control the aspects within it. I hated trying new things because I didn't know what to expect and therefore, I couldn't control anything going into it. I remember one time my parents took me to a basketball camp. I was the youngest kid and the worst one there. I cried because I couldn't do what the older kids were doing. Yet, looking back, I really just hated that I couldn't control what other people were probably thinking of me, I couldn't control practice to do exercises I already knew how to do, and I couldn't control the ball (kind of important for basketball, right?). This attitude took away the opportunity for correction or coaching. I was so lost in the uncomfortable and grasping for control that I actually lost control of my emotions. There's a reason that sports teams have coaches. The players have so much to deal with on the court or the field as it is. Having a coach on the outside who can see the entire picture and call the plays is vital to the success of the team. When we try to control our lives, we are looking at it from a perspective zoomed into the now. When we trust God to control our lives, only He can see our lives in their entirety.

Our God is a mover, and He is all-powerful. He doesn't check the forecast to determine if it's the right time to move. God doesn't have an age, weight, or height requirement for His work. The problem with us being in control is that we are often waiting to fix whatever flaws we see to move. Yet, sometimes God wants you to move in order to help you grow through those flaws. We take control and try to run the show, but in doing so, we often miss it. When we are worried about stuff all the time and trying to control everything, we are ultimately saying to God, "I have to because I don't think you can." The areas in our lives that we worry about the most actually reveal the areas of our lives that we trust God the least with. When we surrender our need for control unto The Father, we are saying "I don't need to worry because I know my God can and He will." If you surrender your control for life before God, He can do more than you ever could with your own two hands.

May your roots run deep, and your faith remain strong! As always, Stay Rooted, my friends! <3